Reflecting on 2019 and this decade

What a transformative year this has been. I’m sitting here on my couch in Kuala Lumpur on the last evening of 2019 reflecting on 2019. We are about to celebrate the clocks going 3 – 2 – 1 HAPPY 2020 and I can’t help but feel the blues. The blues for what this decade has been like for me.

Do you want to reflect on 2019 with me?

This article is pulled directly out of my personal diary. It holds the good, the bad, and the ugly of 2019 and the decade. My hopes and fears. I’ve never in my life been this open and raw but I feel this is what the 2020 version of me would do. So instead of waiting a couple more hours – here goes.

I’ve not only reflected on the year that just passed (2019) but on the decade that has made me. The decade that made me strong to the level that I didn’t even know I had it in me. I’m sharing this with you because the girl that I was 10 years ago prayed for someone to share this.

In the past 10 years, I’ve ;

…been to 3 different colleges – studying for 3 different degrees. I graduated as a teacher and acquired various other certificates/degrees.

…moved home about 20 times. I’ve slept in my car.

…worked 2-3 jobs just to get by. I’ve also had 13.000 euro months.

…been in 4 major relationships.

…lost one of my closest friends in a criminal act. I’ve made many new international friends.

…started three companies and let go of two.

… travelled around the world and back. I’ve been to +- 35 countries.

A lot has happened in the last 10 years and those experiences made me into the woman that I am today.

Now it is time to go deeper with reflecting on 2019.

For the majority of the year, I felt stressed due to not living my design (human design) and respecting my own boundaries. Halfway through the year, I made the decision to let go of my marketing agency and focus on coaching and mentoring. I finally decided for me – I finally chose me. Yes, I’m so proud of myself for creating boundaries and staying true to them and myself.

If I could go back in time I wouldn’t change anything. I feel it was all part of the lessons I had to learn. This helps me see others and their challenges with an even deeper understanding.

I had to learn this in order to level up.

I grew the most in understanding myself and taking care of myself. Finally, I see how strong I became over the years hence why only now I can share certain stories and be vulnerable.

The thing I’m releasing and letting go of is scarcity. If I had to come up with a theme for the last 10 years it would have been scarcity. This was present in my life in feelings of not being good enough, not being seen for who I truly am, and not having enough (money, food, shelter, friends, love, … ). I would ride the rollercoaster that is attached to the scarcity mindset.

I’m now fully stepping out of that rollercoaster and into abundance and ease.

I’m ending this page in my diary with a month-by-month breakdown of my year. I love going through old photos and videos and I hardly believe all the things I’ve done/seen/experienced this past 365 days. Thank you for being here, you are a part of this journey. I hold a space for you to be vulnerable too. If you take anything from this story – I want you to take strength. Embrace your failures, your depths, your heights – they shaped you into who you are.

You are enough. You are loved. You are you. Thank you so much!

If in any way you feel triggered by this – feel free to reach out to me personally by emailing me (stephanie@stephaniesmolders.com). Everything you share is confidential and I hold space for your reflections.

2019 in review month by month

January

Invested in a productivity course
+60 Instagram audits done
Living in Algarve, Portugal
Visited Porto, Portugal
Wine & Porto tasting in Sex Senses Duoro Valley
3 paid influencer campaigns
Trip to Spain with amazing friends

February

Living in Malaga, Spain
Visit of Anne N. (who I’ve met on Instagram/Facebook)
Rebranding of marketing agency
Hosted Instagram challenge with 400 participants
Let go of 2 employees

March

Visit of Clementine to Spain (who I’ve met living in Bali)
Hosted Money Mindset Challenge with 6 people
Lots of project management and admin work for the agency
Signed 4 new agency clients
Launched academy (membership) and failed
Sponsored a year worth of food for Sofie Senden’s Chickens
End of a big project for Peter (sad news)
Lots of emotional breakdowns
Horse riding in Spain

April

Girls trip to Ibiza with Jolien & Jolien
Visit of a college friend to Spain
Visit to Belgium
Welcome back party in Belgium with 30 friends and family
Decision to go back to Kuala Lumpur for some time
Discovery my personal genius: coaching – ideas and truly seeing someones mission
Hired Bea full-time (copywriting & creative genius)

May

Visit from Peter’s best friend to Spain
Visit from my mom to Spain
Not happy with living in our apartment in Spain
Was gifted my first Tarot deck (with unicorns)
Manifested a two-week free stay in a villa in the hills of Spain
Bucketlist: Andalusian horseshow

June

Travel to Egypt (Cairo, Hurghada)
Decision to stop the agency (still 6 months to finish up)
Fly business class to Kuala Lumpur
Living in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Started coaching full-time
Surprise birthday party for me in KL
Staycation in Four Seasons
Reunited with my friends in KL
Embraced my spirituality

July

Parties in KL
Visit Penang with friends
First Kuala Lumpur Social Event after a year (for me)
Viral quotes on Instagram
2 new coaching clients
Made new friends

August

Horse riding in KL
Travel to Thailand, first real vacation in 3 years
Create a website for coaching

September

Go to Millionaire mind Intensive
Experience smog in KL
Hosted marketing workshops in KL

October

Travel to Vietnam (Da Nang, Hoi An)
Travel unexpected to Belgium (funeral grandmother)
Started working in a co-working space a few days a week

November

Travel to Japan for 12 days (Tokyo, Kyoto, Osaka)
Celebrate Peter’s 30th birthday in Disneyland Tokyo
Launched marketing strategy mastery course with 6 students
Hosted 2 webinars
Got the keys to our new apartment in Kuala Lumpur

December

Hosted bizmas on Instagram stories
Introduced virtual co-working and it was called my best idea of 2019
Bought 12 new business books
Cooked for the first time in 6 months
Christmas party with the KL social ladies with 58 women
Hosted Christmas dinner for 6 strangers in our apartment

Thank you if you made it through my whole list. It is very rewarding to make your own list to see all the things that happened month by month. This way you can create your planning and vision for 2020.

Happy New Year and I see you!

There is a lot to cover when it comes to planning. I’m looking forward to sharing more with you. Make sure to sign up for ‘Invited’. The place where I update you with new content, special invitations, and personal stories.

Feel free to message me on Instagram to share them, or share your insights in the comments below ✨