What a transformative year this has been. I’m sitting here on my couch in Kuala Lumpur on the last evening of 2019 reflecting on 2019. We are about to celebrate the clocks going 3 – 2 – 1 HAPPY 2020 and I can’t help but feel the blues. The blues for what this decade has been like for me. Do you want to reflect on 2019 with me? 

 

This article is pulled directly out of my personal diary. It holds the good, the bad and the ugly of 2019 and the decade. My hopes and fears. I’ve never in my life been this open and raw but I feel this is what the 2020 version of me would do. So instead of waiting a couple more hours – here goes. 

 

I’ve not only reflected on the year that just passed (2019) but on the decade that has made me. The decade that made me strong to the level that I didn’t even know I had it in me. I’m sharing this with you because the girl that I was 10 years ago prayed for someone to share this. 

 

In the past 10 years, I’ve been in 3 different colleges – studying 3 different degrees. I graduated as a teacher and acquired various other certificates/degrees.

I’ve moved home about 20 times. I’ve slept in my car.


I worked 2-3 jobs just to get by. I’ve also had 13.000 euro months.


I’ve been in 4 major relationships.


I lost one of my closest friends in a criminal act. I’ve made many new international friends.


I started three companies and let go of two. 

I’ve traveled around the world and back. I’ve been to +- 35 countries. 

 

A lot has happened in the last 10 years and those experiences made me into the woman that I am today. 

Now it is time to go deeper with reflecting on 2019. 

 

The majority of the year I felt stressed due to not living my design (human design) and respecting my own boundaries. Halfway through the year, I made the decision to let go of my marketing agency and focus on coaching and mentoring. I finally decided for me – I finally chose me. I’m so proud of myself for creating boundaries and staying true to them and myself. 

 

If I could go back in time I wouldn’t change anything. I feel it was all part of the lessons I had to learn. This helps me see others and their challenges with an even deeper understanding. I had to learn this in order to level up. I grew the most in understanding myself and taking care of myself. I finally see how strong I became over the years hence why only now I can share certain stories and be vulnerable. 

 

The things I’m releasing and letting go of is scarcity. If I had to come up with a theme for the last 10 years it would have been scarcity. This was present in my life in feelings of not being good enough, not being seen for who I truly am, not having enough (money, food, shelter, friends, love, … ). I would ride the rollercoaster that is attached to the scarcity mindset. I’m now fully stepping out of that rollercoaster and into abundance and ease. 

 

I’m ending this page in my diary with a month by month breakdown of my year. I love going through old photos and videos and I hardly believe all the things I’ve done/seen/experienced this pas 365 days. I already want to thank you for being here, you are a part of this journey. I hold a space for you to be vulnerable too. If you take anything from this story – I want you to take strength. Embrace your failures, your depths, your heights – they shaped you into who you are.

You are enough. You are loved. You are you. Thank you so much! 

 

If in any way you feel triggered by this – feel free to reach out to me personally by emailing me (stephanie@stephaniesmolders.com). Everything you share is confidential and I hold space for your reflections. 

2019 in review month by month

 

January

  • Invested in a productivity course
  • +60 Instagram audits done
  • Living in Algarve, Portugal
  • Visited Porto, Portugal
  • Wine & Porto tasting in Sex Senses Duoro Valley
  • 3 paid influencer campaigns
  • Trip to Spain with amazing friends

February

 

  • Living in Malaga, Spain
  • Visit of Anne N. (who I’ve met on Instagram/Facebook)
  • Rebranding of marketing agency
  • Hosted Instagram challenge with 400 participants
  • Let go of 2 employees

March

 

  • Visit of Clementine to Spain (who I’ve met living in Bali) 
  • Hosted Money Mindset Challenge with 6 people
  • Lots of project management and admin work for the agency
  • Signed 4 new agency clients
  • Launched academy (membership) and failed
  • Sponsored a year worth of food for Sofie Senden’s Chickens
  • End of a big project for Peter (sad news)
  • Lots of emotional breakdowns 
  • Horse riding in Spain 

April

 

  • Girls trip to Ibiza with Jolien & Jolien
  • Visit of a college friend to Spain
  • Visit to Belgium 
  • Welcome back party in Belgium with 30 friends and family
  • Decision to go back to Kuala Lumpur for some time
  • Discovery my personal genius: coaching – ideas and truly seeing someones mission
  • Hired Bea full-time (copywriting & creative genius)

May 

  • Visit from Peter’s best friend to Spain
  • Visit from my mom to Spain
  • Not happy with living in our apartment in Spain
  • Was gifted my first Tarot deck (with unicorns)
  • Manifested a two-week free stay in a villa in the hills of Spain 
  • Bucketlist: Andalusian horseshow

June

 

  • Travel to Egypt (Cairo, Hurghada) 
  • Decision to stop the agency (still 6 months to finish up) 
  • Fly business class to Kuala Lumpur 
  • Living in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
  • Started coaching full-time 
  • Surprise birthday party for me in KL 
  • Staycation in Four Seasons
  • Reunited with my friends in KL
  • Embraced my spirituality 

July 

 

  • Parties in KL
  • Visit Penang with friends
  • First Kuala Lumpur Social Event after a year (for me)
  • Viral quotes on Instagram
  • 2 new coaching clients
  • Made new friends

August

 

  • Horse riding in KL
  • Travel to Thailand, first real vacation in 3  years
  • Create a website for coaching 

September

 

  • Go to Millionaire mind Intensive
  • Experience smog in KL
  • Hosted marketing workshops in KL

October

 

  • Travel to Vietnam (Da Nang, Hoi An) 
  • Travel unexpected to Belgium (funeral grandmother) 
  • Started working in a co-working space a few days a week

November

 

  • Travel to Japan for 12 days (Tokyo, Kyoto, Osaka) 
  • Celebrate Peter’s 30th birthday in Disneyland Tokyo
  • Launched marketing strategy mastery course with 6 students
  • Hosted 2 webinars
  • Got the keys to our new apartment in Kuala Lumpur

December

 

  • Hosted bizmas on Instagram stories
  • Introduced virtual co-working and it was called my best idea of 2019
  • Bought 12 new business books
  • Cooked for the first time in 6 months
  • Christmas party with the KL social ladies with 58 women 
  • Hosted Christmas dinner for 6 strangers in our apartment

 

Thank you if you made it through my whole list. It is very rewarding to make your own list to see all the things that happened month by month. This way you can create your planning and vision for 2020. 

 

Happy New Year and I see you! 

 

If in any way you feel triggered by this – feel free to reach out to me personally by emailing me (stephanie@stephaniesmolders.com). Everything you share is confidential and I hold space for your reflections. 

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